Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
