Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
