i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
