ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
