Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
