that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Green mimosas i think yes
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
