then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
