i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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