Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
