McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
