Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
