Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
