hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
