I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
