when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
