Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
