You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
