Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
