I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
