i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
