hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
