Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
