elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
