why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
