my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
