I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
