What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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