you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
