Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
