great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
