Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
