he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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