Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
