a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
