dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
