It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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