im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
