It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
