I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
