You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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