I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
