I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
