We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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