Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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