I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
NoShamevember. You game?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
