he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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