I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Enjoy the penises
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
