Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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