singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
