I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
