Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I understand Curling. That high.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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