Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
