he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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