the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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